When I used to run competitively, I always joked that I had my “cross country jeans” and my “track jeans”. My cross country jeans were to be worn when I was running a lot of miles, with not much strength training, just long, long workouts. My track jeans were to be worn when I dropped down to the slightly shorter distances, did more speed work, and spent more time in the weight room (aka build a lot more leg muscle). I would joke about this, but in reality, they weren’t much different. One probably stretched a bit more than the other. They were still close to the same size, not really producing a noticeable difference to anyone but me.
When I quit running, I didn’t really know what would happen to my body. For awhile, it stayed the same. Then, I lost some weight – unintentionally, just kind of happened. Then, I gained some – again, unintentionally, just kind of happened.
I’m at the point now where my weight isn’t super noticeably different, but some of my clothes don’t feel the same. It wasn’t to the point where I couldn’t fit into my clothes – but they just felt different. Some felt tight in some places, some felt loose in some places. Basically when you aren’t lifting twice a week and running a million miles, you lose some muscle and replace it with fat. While I viewed the situation from a completely non-judgmental mindset, my clothes still didn’t fit the way that they used to. I didn’t feel all that great wearing them.
My first reaction was to keep the clothes, thinking that they would one day fit right. When life slows down a bit, I want to start running more again. In the back of my mind, I kept thinking that I should save them.
But they just didn’t feel good. I’m human and I have bad body image days. I noticed that when I wore certain clothes, I would always start feeling bad about myself by the end of the day. When I wore more loose and flow-y tops and dresses, I felt really great.
I knew that I would have to give up taking care of myself to ever be in a smaller body again.
So, I sold my clothes.
I started researching some places that would accept them. I ended up donating a lot of them, but to be honest, I knew that I couldn’t justify spending a ton of money on an entire new wardrobe. I think selling clothes that no longer fit you is awesome. Our bodies are not meant to stay one size forever, so why should we try to keep the same clothes?
I literally cleaned out about 2/3 of my closet with clothes that either: 1) no longer fit, 2) made me feel like I was trying to look like someone else, 3) didn’t feel like me. Like probably every other woman in the world, I’ve definitely fallen into the trap of following the current trends, only to buy clothes that feel nothing like my personality. Ew. I don’t want to try to be someone I’m not.
My old clothes and I went to a few different retailers that bought back gently worn clothes, and then I donated the rest. My gosh it was SO FREEING.
I then bought a bunch of new tops and dresses that were super flow-y, modest, and cozy. I used to only buy form-fitting clothes, until feeling like I could not breathe and had to be super conscious of what my body looked like 24/7. I don’t want to spend my entire life worrying about the size of my body and how my clothes fit me. I want to actually do meaningful things!
I recently read this article from Kylie – On letting your stomach pooch out as much as it needs to. I LOVE THAT. When I wore clothes that didn’t make me feel good, I noticed that I was more likely to hold in my stomach. When I wear clothes that feel good, I can just be.
Have you ever felt like the clothes you wear are preventing you from truly feeling good about your body? Let me know!